Friendships As a Young Adult

I am not a stereotype. I do not know anything about late nights and hangovers. I am completely unfamiliar with allowances and moving out. In my reality, I am thinking about ways to mold today’s me into a me of tomorrow where current me will do a double-take when she meets the me of the future.

After graduating from secondary school, no one tells you how much trials and loose gravel that’s on the road ahead. We are filled with infantile hope of a future.  The surprise that is Young adulthood takes a significant toll on the friendships that we have developed from primary school and onwards. Where you were so keen to speak about every detail of your life, you are now struck with a sense of shame and fear of judgment that you may or may not be where everyone had epected.The job you had thought would soon come has now taken more than six months for even an interview call. Your friends have found work and new boyfriends. Everything is rapidly changing. Suddenly,  You’re faced with you, who you are and who you want to be.

Personal life is so raw when you are no longer in the safety net of school. You are faced with adulting whether you asked for it or not. Bills, loans, break ups, weight-gain, pregnancies, Spiritual warfare, insecurities and gosh, too much more.

The friendships begin to get more and more difficult to maintain.  Certainly, it would now require more effort. You are now able to think carefully on how meaningful one person is to you.If they are worth the effort. You begin to sift out those who speak life too you and weed out the useless negative ones and hopefully, you become stronger as you have let go of the weight of unhealthy relationships. Nothing lasts forever. That is simply, the truth.

Any thoughts on this topic? Leave them down in the coments section!

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LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS. When the Internet fails us.

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Skype, Facebook, Whatsapp, Emails, Twitch and Google Hangouts… Did I miss anyone? These are basically essentials when our relationship goes through a long distance period. Everything seems totally fine as long as these tools are at our fingertips. However, what about when they are suddenly no longer an option? What happens when the internet FAILS us? After a few nights of worry and unease, it is now time to stop the panic and listen up.

  1. Pray- Now I don’t know about you reading this, but I believe in prayer. My sister once said that God is the one connection that will never fail and I agree. He is always there for us in good times and bad.  It is also the best way in my opinion to protect your loved one in a time when you are not physically close by. Pray for your partner daily for both things seen and unseen and place everything into the hands of the Creator.  Seek him for comfort during this time which may be more difficult for some than others. Lay your worries onto him.You never know what challenges lie ahead for either of you so develop your trust in God and use this time apart ( from loved one) to really work on the relationship with him.
  2. Stay Positive- Life happens and life happens to everyone. However we can’t always be jumping to scary conclusions without having any proof. Jumping to conclusions usually results in sleepless nights or useless arguments when we can all be enjoying limited time. Internet failing does not always have to mean that they found someone else or tripped and fell somewhere in a mysterious ditch. Not saying these things aren’t possible, but if it is something that you are extremely worried about then there is one last thing that we may be forgetting.
  3. Call- How can this be number 3? I sometimes forget that calling someone does not require the internet (requires phone credit though) I have become so accustomed to instant messaging or video chatting that I have long forgotten that there are home phones, cellular phones and even phone booths still in existence, and who knows how long this option will be here. Sometimes the best way to eliminate a lot of fears and insecurities is to simply call. Hear their voice, hear the tone, and hear the beautiful musical ring of their laughter. It was there before video and instant messaging and prayer was there even before all of them combined.

 

To those of us who know when our long distance will end and even to those of us who are unsure if it will ever end. Be strong and never stop looking for ways to get in touch with your one. There are certainly many options that I may not know of or may have left out so lets start up a discussion and drop by the comments section to share your thoughts.

Thank you so much for reading!!

No Internet? Keep Calm and Try These Things.

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Whether you are about to embark on a short break or fast from the internet, or your internet provider has been treating you like crap this week (like mine), I believe we can both agree on how frustrating it can be to find something to do! Let’s face it, the internet is now part of our daily routine, habits and even personality (YouTube video while having lunch anyone?). It thinks for us and tells us what to do most of the time. I am no expert but I think I can safely guess that it is most likely the most distracting thing ever created next to the fact that it does provide a great source of information. So what did we used to do before? How did our parents survive life without it? I can’t tell you that but after struggling with internet failure for close to a week, I’ve developed a few things that I have been doing and also thinking about during this time without an active internet connection.

  1. Read the Bible- Now ideally, I should be doing this every day, but often times I have found myself consumed by the many distractions found online. YouTube, instant messaging and just random searching. If you are someone who is hoping to include this into your daily life, consider turning the internet off for maybe just a day, or switching your devices to airplane mode. Feeding the spirit is just as important as feeding our body.
  2. Create Something-Am I the only one who automatically reaches for their phone to Google search ideas? It’s as if something that was once natural is no longer something that comes automatically. It was God who created ideas, not Google. Our minds are filled with ideas. So don’t fret if you can’t think of a recipe at the top of your head. Look at the ingredients in front of you and create something! Don’t quit painting practice or guitar practice because you don’t have a YouTube tutorial, but rather just see what comes out of your mind from what you know already. Have fun learning and creating like old times.
  3. Congregate & Connect- If you are without internet right now, you might be the only one so it may be hard to meet up with friends who are nose deep in their cell phones. However, we have immediate families that we see every day who we don’t message on face book or Whatsapp. Take some time out to go have a chat and I meant face to face. If you are struggling to keep entertained, create a game night where you play board games and puzzles. Dust off the old scrabble, monopoly or my current favorite Dominoes. Experience these moments that the internet has stolen from us. These moments where our family rooms was filled with family and the walls sung our laughter.Where the lines on our parent’s faces were not such a surprise because we noticed them daily. If you are able to, think about keeping these kinds of nights into your busy calendar .We may not be the same as the olden days but we can try to learn from them.
  4. Journal/Scrapbook- This is one thing that has reappeared thanks to the famous bullet journal. However, I know for sure that I cannot afford to get an actual fancy journal on Amazon or wherever. Whatever notebook you find whether it has lines or if it is blank. Anything with paper that you can apply your thoughts too will work. Scroll through some old magazines that you’ve probably never even gone through and make cut outs of shapes, letters or inspiration. Write down your thoughts or feelings .Plan your day or even your future. Analyze you in this moment and embrace the buzz of your own thoughts and not the incessant DING! Of an incoming social media chat.
  5. Rest- Goodness, Please tell me if I am not alone. Whenever there is no internet a wave of sleepiness overcomes me. As if I have just ran some marathon. This leads me to wonder if it is just boredom, or my body telling me that it is simply tired. We are so drowned within our bright screens all day till past midnight that we ignore the cries of sleep when our bodies signal it. This of course is what I think and you can maybe let me know if it is true and scientifically correct. So I believe that we should take this moment to catch up on the zzz’s that we have missed for the past few days. Enjoy the unburdened rest having no thoughts for the unanswered text messages or the unread and unsent emails.
  6. Re-read a much loved book- I am still not able to buy multitudes of books like I have dreamed of. However, I remember when I was younger, the only books I would have for a good year or two were just the ones on my shelf, hand me downs or books inherited from older siblings. I ended up finding a few favorites and of course read them over and over again. There are still few that I will reread even to this day for example anything by Jane Austen. Go hunting on your book shelve and grab something that you know will be guaranteed to set you into a great,chill mood while you try to ignore all the work that you could be doing online. Try to remember the feeling you had when you first read the book. Where was it? Who gave this book to you or where did you buy it? Books have a weird way of carrying with them a lifelong history lecture. It’s a feeling the internet can simply never imitate.

 

As always thank you so much for reading! I would definitely love to read your comments and thoughts on things you do when there is no internet connection. Have a wonderful and meaningful week everyone!

P.S. I love comments. Allow me to get to know you who you are!

P.P.S. If you got this far,comment Some game night ideas that you and your family have tried before!

NO Internet-!

Book Thoughts: The Heirs

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I rarely read the synopsis of a book so that I am sprung into a surprising world on my own. The first chapter dragged for me. I was not used to reading books like this one in a very long time.  I have only been reading YA madness for the past year. When I arrived at chapter two it was safe to say that I was definitely enjoying The Heirs by Susan Reiger. I was unable to rush this book. The pace was comfortable and not excruciatingly slow. I found myself taking time to read it but not feeling the need to rush.
This book reminded me of a classy gossip tale. We are literally experiencing every secret as it unfolds. The thing is that the more you know, the more you want to find out. We are shown the present and past of the characters which enables you to assess each person individually. I was guilty of judging them by their past forgetting my thoughts of who they were presently and I could imagine Eleanor chastising me for it
The stories and characters were beautifully written. Family life was the heaviest theme. From different perspectives we learned each person’s personality both the good and the bad. We saw how they each reacted to the secrets that were being revealed not just about their deceased father, but among themselves.
This book raises many interesting questions on love in marriage, it’s importance, it’s presence or lack there of and the ability of a marriage to either survive or fail on the simple assumption of love’s existence.  To me the subject of marriage in this book was bitter and apologetically realistic. However, Eleanor and Rupert never let the question of love stop them from having what appeared to have been a successful marriage.I enjoyed the reminder that the past should not rewrite the present.
Eleanor was  my favorite. Her mysterious air seemed to bind everything and everyone together. She was sophisticated and classy and witty in handling situations and we learned about her naughty side as well! I enjoyed how the author was able to connect everything together in the end.  Although I do not ever think that I would be able to keep up at a dinner with the Falkes.
 All in all it was a very interesting read hard to get into on the first chapter but i was in for the ride by the second. It was a good break from my usual YA  and a wonderful opportunity to learn new vocabulary!

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review. So exciting!

Author Website:http://susanregier.com/

October In A Nutshell.

October went by before my eyes, I couldn’t even reach out and touch it. It zoomed so quickly pass that I feel like I just lived a month that I wasn’t sure what happened to it.

Strangely enough there were quiet a good bit of things. Brother’s’ birthday, Work party. I was able to admire the growth of my niece. I discussed life’s frustrations with my sisters. I tried to cook lunch more for both me and boo. I missed baby’s first day at the beach, I became exhausted with my job, and tired of it. I experienced the shock and uselessness of watching a friend mourn her parent. I admired my under eye bags. I started looking into university applications and basically in the end although I sigh at the start of a new month, I still somehow have hope.

                                         ……….. HOPE.

Celebrating 300 Days❤️

To celebrate our 300 day celebration we chose yet another Asian restaurant called Rituals Sushi. We set our budget for the night and headed out, me giddy as usual. I had always wanted to taste sushi and was bubbling with excitement. The scene was set near the Marina, and everything was beautiful including my date.

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My Dimpled Chin Chocolate,YUM.

Our appetizers might have been one my favorite meals.I enjoyed it so much that I forgot to take pics of it. We both chose Spring roll appetizers which we dipped in the most delicious sweet sauce. It’s rare to have a vegetarian option taste so good! I was craving more of that one dish when I woke up this morning.

I also chose a Miso soup which was common in anime and other things of that nature. Naturally I had to taste it and gosh was it good. At first I was surprised wondering what is this watery brown thing. The very first sip was like traveling to another continent in one bowl of soup. It was also my first time tasting the famous seaweed which I adore in my Korean Dramas. I also forgot to take a pic of it as I was too busy sipping away.

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Devouring The Spring Rolls Vegetarian option

Finally came along our highlight dishes. Tevin my love chose a salmon roll which I enjoyed more than my choice which was a tuna roll. His was drizzled with the most delicious sauce ever and then i chose to try it with the side soy sauce. SIGH .  I love when eating becomes more than just eating and instead you have an entire experience in your mouth.It was so good that I already hoped to go back to the restaurant sometime in the future.

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Grilled Salmon Roll

 

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Maguro Maki (Tuna Roll)

 Read about how I celebrated our 100 days here and share your experiences in the comments!

 

 

 

Mid-Year Review and Thoughts

I am nervous I must admit. The middle of the year has already caught up to me. I started as most do with the fresh bang and energy needed to hit goals and such. I have yet to accomplish many goals but already I Do feel a change in the me earlier this year.

I went back to look at my earlier posts and I definitely like going back a bit once in a while

First Post

Second Post

Third Post

What I love most about these posts in particular is how I was undoubtedly talking to myself. I had no views or followers and it was my diary. I remember being surprised that I was able to write so many words without thinking too hard about word count like we used to do back in school when given an essay to write.

Certain things I really wanted to and still want to accomplish this year includes

  1. writing a novel or story of some kind
  2. Progressing in yoga
  3. Studying and hopefully becoming proficient in french and Spanish
  4. Learning to live life for me and not others
  5. Finding my voice
  6. Developing my writing skill and my drawing skill.
  7. Create YouTube videos and learn Video editing: YT Channel HERE

I have definitely been consistent in writing thanks to the blog,Yoga and drawing. I have become very passionate about yoga not really for the meditation aspect but instead the feeling of being able to touch your toes after years of thinking you couldn’t.Making videos have proven to be more difficult than I initially thought but I hope to get back into it more

Not every year feels different from the last, but i feel for sure that this year already feels majorly different,

  1. I was not an aunt last year and now I have a niece
  2. I did not have locs last year and now I am 6 months into my journey
  3. I was comfortable last year and this year I feel like I have done more things that might be uncomfortable to help get me moving
  4. I did not have such a boyfriend who my family immediately loved.💑
  5. I never thought I would ever work part time at a restaurant.

 

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It might be slow but progress will always happen and I do believe that depending on me will change how fast or slow I see results. I hope that I will be able to achieve the goals that I have start for the year and I f God spares then I still have time left to make those changes.

Time management has become a challenge but I feel like I get more done now than I did when I had a bunch of free time.

I wont give Up on trying to achieve these goals. I feel like certain ones have to be done or else I will go crazy. I know I have gotten stronger both physically and mentally.💪🏾

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Have you accomplished any of your resolutions yet?Is the process going well? Have you already forgotten your resolutions?

Lets live and let’s flourish. Striving to end stagnant living!

 

🌸🌸🌸🌸