I have been bad at recording my Loc journey. For half of the journey I was second guessing, going back and forth and worrying if I should remove it or not. There were negative comments, uncertain gazes and also very pleasant compliments. I had wanted locs from my teenage years and was forever afraid. There were stories of airport security checking your locs, searching you for drugs. There was the constant reminder that I would never get a good job. I have no idea of how many of those things are true. All I know as I type this is that this is one thing I have always wanted to do and I have done.It is something I want to see the results of no matter how many times I think of cutting them and going back to what everyone considers to be normal.
I went against parents, and some close friends. I understand them. Life is hard when you go against the grain in any way. I always quit on many things but even just a year of Locs has made me feel that so much more is possible if I stick to all those things I say I would do or want to do. There is so much more out there that I am too afraid to conquer including showing my mother that I have locs (no she doesn’t even know as yet) Fears are real. 2016 was waist deep full of fears and there is much more ahead. If defeating just one can make you this strong imagine how it would feel to conquer the majority of them.
I have experimented with both palm rolling and interlocking. I have tried oils , creamy conditioners and most recently, black hair dye. I have never had locs before and I am taking care of it myself. Sure, I do not know what I am doing the majority of the time but this has been such a great learning experience. Holistically challenging. Some may only understand after experiencing it. With locs you are changing so much. What the world would accept as beautiful, you are challenging it. What you have grown up believing is beautiful is also challenged. You may drown in the negative opinions that everyone else will dip you under or you can rise against it and think of you and what you want. It is difficult. Especially growing up with chains of expectations that friends and family have set for you.
I cannot say do not give up on your journey. I do not know if I may give up on mine soon. However, if you are thinking of starting locs, I will tell you to try it out and try it just a little bit longer. That is the only way you will ever know isn’t it. If you do decide to try something else. So what. it’s your hair and your moment to experiment.
Whatever you choose…….
It’s finally December. The dreaded yet sweet, cozy and cheerful December. I wonder if my readers are tired as yet of me setting goals and not finishing them but here I am again with some more. I have, thankfully, already started on this one which is, applying to Universities.
I have always feared the idea of being rejected as a result of my ‘not- so- amazing’ grades and also my country which people tend to have never heard of before. Anyhow, I have applied to one thus far and unfortunately I did not research how to successfully write a statement of purpose. I am in the process of applying to a second university and I have researched and began writing this essay. If anyone would have tips on writing the Statement of Purpose and the Academic Objective essays, please comment below some of your tips and suggestions.
I do not know any close friends who may be able to help with this but if you are like me, one of the best ways that I know, is to go back to school and talk to one of those teachers who you liked. I plan to follow up on this in a few weeks as I continue to apply. Sure, I am still afraid of rejection but I am more tired of not trying hard enough for things that I want. I have no money and no idea how I will financially pay, but how about I get accepted first and see what happens after, right?
Thanks so much for reading and have a blissful and peaceful December.
Sometimes I forget how lucky I am. To have Sisters who are like me and sisters who love me. To have a lifelong pair of best friends to this day. The only people who know me inside and out. The ones who have seen my darkest crevice and my brightest rays of happiness. Ones who know my humor, understand it and do not judge it. ladies who are so filling that I sometimes feel like I do not need an extra serving of friends on the side. They suit my every characteristic and support my every ambition. We are like Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.
Our dreams are different but meet up at the finish line. We are sewn together in tight stitches thanks to the villains in our story who tried to break us apart. Our bond is like a super power and together we fight to live a life we hope to be extra ordinary .
Things change all the time. Yet the stronger our support grows for each other I am blessed.
I have always loved seeing this tree around my island and for the longest while I have wondered why did they chose this name? It always seemed a bit negative to me, almost condescending. Even while it felt that way I would feel like they greatly misunderstood. If this beautiful tree bearing such a multitude of orchids which the wealthy would spend so much money in producing one or two.. then wasn’t that poor man the luckier of the two? This poor man , despite life’s struggles, although he may not be able to afford a table filled with food, he would come home to a tree filled with gorgeous orchids. The more I heard them call it by that name, the more I felt as if this poor man was blessed and more wealthy.
Image found here.
One may think the poor man is lacking because he is unable to have a green house and actual orchids, but in this poor man’s eyes he has a tree filled with them and to him they are true, as any other.
Do you know this tree by any other name?
One day I was at a park in my Island’s Capitol. It was a busy day and the sun was hot (as usual in the Caribbean) This year’s independence they had dolled the city up a bit, and I noticed that they had painted along the harbor with the flag. For weeks after, I told my boyfriend how much I wish I could take a photo there so that years later when I am old I would go back and take another photo there.It was also just the perfect photo spot with the cruise ships in the background.He responded, “why not?” I would make excuses , “nahhh, too many people” or “The sun is way too hot” . The feeling nagged at me for weeks though. I felt like I had to take a photo there because I wanted to so much. So one day in the hot sun and a busy day, He again told me hey we are going to take that picture. I was nervous and scared and even though no one was looking at me (or maybe they were) I got up onto that platform and took this picture;
That same night I posted it on social media as normal in our time. I felt great and happy literally following the quote of doing something that scares you everyday. I treasure this picture a lot and hope to print it soon( Album lovers)
There is something about doing something for yourself and kicking fear’s butt that leaves some kinda hormone lingering in you for quite a while. ANYWAY that same night I got a message on fb………
Now this person had never spoken to me before so I was like nah this person wants something. I was right of course. He was my age, in the creative industry or rather doing things to open opportunities in that industry. He wanted me to advertise a T-shirt he had made by taking a photo in that spot. He couldn’t even pay me or anything but I did get a free t-shirt which I do count as something.
I Was a Model For A Day
I think you get my point by now. This was not the grandest thing but it could have been. Any one thing you do opens one door out there in opportunity land. The scarier it is might be the bigger the door, in the long term( or short term) or sometimes the smaller depending on if it was a good choice or not. It could have been an added acquaintance, a big billboard advertisement (I Wish) or just a photo for an aspiring artist. I am no expert however this was just another added evidence for me, a gentle reminder that if I want things to happen in my life, I would need to step up and DO SOMETHING because I am the only one with the keys to open my very stylish doors of opportunity.