I have been bad at recording my Loc journey. For half of the journey I was second guessing, going back and forth and worrying if I should remove it or not. There were negative comments, uncertain gazes and also very pleasant compliments. I had wanted locs from my teenage years and was forever afraid. There were stories of airport security checking your locs, searching you for drugs. There was the constant reminder that I would never get a good job. I have no idea of how many of those things are true. All I know as I type this is that this is one thing I have always wanted to do and I have done.It is something I want to see the results of no matter how many times I think of cutting them and going back to what everyone considers to be normal.
I went against parents, and some close friends. I understand them. Life is hard when you go against the grain in any way. I always quit on many things but even just a year of Locs has made me feel that so much more is possible if I stick to all those things I say I would do or want to do. There is so much more out there that I am too afraid to conquer including showing my mother that I have locs (no she doesn’t even know as yet) Fears are real. 2016 was waist deep full of fears and there is much more ahead. If defeating just one can make you this strong imagine how it would feel to conquer the majority of them.
I have experimented with both palm rolling and interlocking. I have tried oils , creamy conditioners and most recently, black hair dye. I have never had locs before and I am taking care of it myself. Sure, I do not know what I am doing the majority of the time but this has been such a great learning experience. Holistically challenging. Some may only understand after experiencing it. With locs you are changing so much. What the world would accept as beautiful, you are challenging it. What you have grown up believing is beautiful is also challenged. You may drown in the negative opinions that everyone else will dip you under or you can rise against it and think of you and what you want. It is difficult. Especially growing up with chains of expectations that friends and family have set for you.
I cannot say do not give up on your journey. I do not know if I may give up on mine soon. However, if you are thinking of starting locs, I will tell you to try it out and try it just a little bit longer. That is the only way you will ever know isn’t it. If you do decide to try something else. So what. it’s your hair and your moment to experiment.
Whatever you choose…….