I Finally attempted to style my starter locs after a few frizzy months. I was hesitant at first because I have a tendency to do things a bit too tightly when it comes to my hair. I twisted each loc with a neighbor in an attempt to also re twist my hair. This was done after my first homemade deep conditioning treatment.
Recently I have noticed a change in my appearance. By that I mean that I feel as if the locs are changing the way I look. Like a spice being added into a dish. My locs are beginning to Spice me Up! Like a previous post, the locs are another thing that I have started. This journey of me becoming the best version of myself. Locs are something my parents and a lot of persons close to me absolutely HATE. For years I have wanted to begin this journey but fear of disappointing others have stopped me.
Finally, after all these years when I have realized that you truly can never please everyone. I am slowly attempting to please MYSELF and the Lord. In the end these are the most important people in the world.
Let me know what you all think of this style ,very simple and a great way to stop worrying about frizzy starter locs for a while.
One of the biggest struggles of 2015 was my struggle with getting out of the mindset that i had to Please my parents. They did not even live with me yet the fear of disappointing them was just too much to think of. Lately though… I’ve been a bit more pensive. I realized that I really cannot remember when I have ever pleased my parents. No matter how high I got in school… which was quite average usually. No matter what anyone said of how wonderful their daughter was. I never seemed to get the approving look or the pride melting off any parent. SO I came to the conclusion that really and truly boo boo, I really can not please my parents. They are impossible to please.
The Y.O.L.O phrase always flew way over my head during school. I saw kids getting it tattooed and could never think of why exactly. The more I think deeply about what I want and my future , the more I see it clashing with all the walls my parents have snugly fit me in. Of course I love them dearly and I know they only want us to live better than they ever did… However, I am exhausted from trying to please them and as a result I am unable to fully say who I am as I can only think of the ME that they want me to be… which I suppose is ME ..for now.
I feel myself evolving so much from who I was just a few months ago. I have my own ideas…. I no longer even feel the need to open up to many people. I am excited for change and new beginnings. I crave adventure, travel and learning. There is so many things in my dreams but can I truly live my life when they need me to help complete theirs? It is something my mind has been turning upside down. We truly only have ONE life. I want that life to be….mine.
Doing. I am twenty years old and I am certain there are many out there who understand much more than I do,just how hard it can be to start DOING.
I have many dreams,many aspirations and multiple hobbies. All of those things are dusty,rusted and asleep on my pile of unfinished things. So many things I want to do. So many places I envision myself to be.
The truth is there is no particular plan. No straight line. I just want to Do, and I hope that Opportunities will follow.
There are a few things I have started and i will mention them for my own records.
1. Yoga ( in pigeon pose as i write this post)
2. YouTube channel
4.Drawing/ animation Class
This list is much longer than I thought and I already feel a bit of fear that I may have just done it again… started a bunch of things, gone over my head?
My list of unfinished things/ things I have yet to continue:
1. French/ Spanish
5.Toastmasters (public speaking club)
So I see my pattern.. this journey feels a bit heavier than i had expected. Its frightening and I already feel discouraged. All those things I started in 2015 and they are incomplete. There might even be more than I can think of right now.
Recently I heard someone say that you are a loser if you have yet to finish what you have started… and gosh.. what do you know, here i type.
Regardless of the facts. It is time this pattern changed isn’t it? No point in wallowing in my unfinished pile when I have so much to look forward too.
Yes I know…. this New year,s resolution is most likely just as popular as wanting to lose some pounds. However,who cares it remains my new years resolution for 2016. I am filled up with motivational YouTube videos and people. Crammed with dreams and inspiration that I neeeed to release and transform into becoming who I have been under the gunk of dormancy. Although I am certainly not the same as I was a few years back, there’s still that long,windy road ahead to where I want to be.
This will be simple. I will do and not hope to do. I will become and not wish I were. I know I’m not the only one tired of dreaming and not living that dream. Of-course it will be hard. I’m scared of failing but i think it’s about time.